"The Story of Us - Final Part"

Whew! Will I finish this soap opera in six parts? LOL

Sorry it took so much to be finished! It wasn't my intention to let anyone waiting!!! The thing is that D, Rebecca and I are in vacation in Brazil and we are doing thousands of things and going back and forth! Besides this, D has been using our laptop a lot to write some stuff for his PhD work so I have very little time to write on my blog. Today D is out at some biotechnology conference and little Rebecca has just went to her afternoon nap and there is no one left in the house to interact with! lol so now it's a very good time to finish this story! And the end of this will match with the "a thousand visits" blog mark, following my calculations! =) I hope I can write stuff more useful after getting such clientele! lol

So, here we go! Summarizing D and I have kissed on that Thursday party on the 21th of September, 2006. Well, actually it was already dawn so you can considerate it as the 22nd of Semptember, but we both prefer to pick the 21st as our "first kiss" mark. But D didn't ask for my number and I didn`t say anything about commitment to him. So I was anxious and fearful and I could have risked too much and that he could have never wanted a serious relationship with me anyway.

So on the next day, Friday, I've decided I would try to stay online on msn all the time I could. Doing like this, I was willing to get D online too and hope he would start a conversation with me first and not the opposite, huh?! lol Well, now I can't remember if he was already online when I got online, but the thing is that at some point we both were online and he started talking with me (whew!) and obviously he started with that cliche talk:

D: Hi!! I liked yesterday a lot! (which I thought it was kinda exaggerated, but anyways, lol)

Me: I liked it a lot too.... I mean it! (I remember I added the "I mean it" on purpose so he could know that I wasn't just being considered with what he just said and I was also trying to encourage him to try something serious with me.)

Ok, I don't remember what else we talked about but I guess he told me he would go back to his city on the weekend which was good know so I didn't hope in vain that he would ask me out on the next following two days. And I think this was his intention, actually. But he hasn't asked my number again, hunf! =(

So the weekend came and I heard nothing from him! (ps, he didn't have internet on his apt in Sao Jose dos Campos). Meanwhile, I was just thinking to myself that I had done wrong according to my principles: kiss a guy without a word regarding my intentions of a serious relationship. I know that a lot of people in Brazil thinks that to first kiss someone without any commitment is the basic and first step towards a serious relationship, but I never thought like that. And you wanna know what? I think I'm correct. In my opinion, to act like that only hurts people and wear out the "not even started" relationship. I could only feel bad feelings while waiting for us to set down, bc I couldn't know his intentions towards me and thinking that theoretically he was free to kiss other girls was not a nice thought, and I know many girls would get distressed like me being in the same position.

Besides this, I don't see any point in kissing someone simply for the act of kissing and not counting the affective. It is just not originally natural. We are affective human beings. And I still have a thousands of reasons to think like that and the fact of living in the US only confirmed it to me. In the US I could notice that there are still many people that do different than in Brazil and I feel they are much happier on this regard. And to finish my thought, it was silly and out of laziness that I didn't talk about it to D before we kiss, bc we had strong evidence that we both cared for each other and we were willing to make it work through something serious. And like I said on the first part of this story, every guy I engaged in this conversation with agreed with my conditions. Again, we were never obligated to make it work, but it's a nice thing to set some conditions like the both of us would at least try and we would be exclusive while trying. In my opinion, this isn't ask for too much, but for the minimum.

But who am I to give sermon? But at least I recognized my bad choice and I was determined to act different next time. Therefore, if D would try to kiss me again, I would first refuse it in order to expose my point of view. If he agreed, we would date then. If not, I would know he wasn't the right guy for me and the sooner I knew that, the better, agree?

If I haven't based this post to be the last one I would be finishing the post right here letting the story unfinished.  But now, it would require more trouble to re-arrange things than to finish it! Sorry, but the post will be a little bit too long. So, let me go on! With this determination that the Monday, 25th of September (of that same year, lol) came. My college was on recession because of the Civil Engineering Week and instead of classes we would have lectures to attend. Who knows me can assure that I'm not a big fan of lectures but since I haven't gone to the  last year's event, I was putting some effort on attending this year's. So I was on my college "lan house", on msn - of course - waiting for the next lecture.

And guess who was online too? D. You got it! (Or he became online after me, I don't record it). We started talking (I don't remember who started the conversation) but right atthe beginning of the conversation, he said to me:

D: "I want to see you again!"

"Wooho" - I thought, but said:

Me: "Oh... me too..."

D: "Can we see each other now?"

It were about 1pm or 2pm, just after lunch time. The next lecture would soon begin, but, please, I was much more interested on D!

Me: "Ok..."

So we agreed that he would drive to pick me up and we would eat some ice cream at a traditional place close to the university. So he arrived there. I was wearing glasses and not contacts because I never imagined we could see each other right on Monday afternoon. This was really a good sign!! This was not something that happens all the time with people. I got butterflies in my stomach! It's fun! =) It's only too bad our ability to get used to the most fantastic things....

So we went to that ice cream place I'm telling u about! I was trying to not give the wrong impression to him because I didn't want to make him believe I was going to kiss again. I didn't know if we were because we would first talk! So we ate ice cream, engaged in silly talk, he tried some contact sometimes and finally he tried to kiss me.

So this time I turned kindly my face to refuse the kiss. He asked me cutely: "what's wrong?". and then I explained myself. Well, it was kinda of a long conversation and I don't record it very much. I couldn't remember it very clearly right after it happened, don't know why. I know he understood parts of it so he said some interesting phrases which I'll transcribe in the order I think is correct:

D: "I want to date you, but not now!" - lol. Then I tried to explain him it was ok with me, but I wouldn't kiss him (without a commitment) then!

D: "My old relationship was kinda traumatic" - I'm not sure but I guess he was referring to Maira and Patricia, two of his ex-girlfriends. I think he said that trying to justify to me the reason why he wasn't sure about dating me right away.

Then...

D: "Would you be my girlfriend?" - hahaha, he was confuse, poor of him. I had no intentions of putting some pressure on him, honestly! If he didn't want to date me, we could wait, be friends meanwhile and time would decide for us! I tried to explain this to him!

And still:

D: "But if we start dating, I don't intent it to finish!" - well, so when he said that I kinda froze a little bit. He was practically talking about marriage!! Seriously!!

So I guess we ended up agreeing that we would start dating and we kissed again. But after 15 min or so he was taking me to my college so I could watch some lectures and he also had some things to do. But still.... he hasen't asked for my number!!! lol So we got to my college parking lot and I said to him to get my cellphone number. He gave me a paper and ask me to write it down. I thought that was kinda unusual but it's ok. He later told me he didn't want to show me his cellphone (to write my number on its agenda) because it was too old fashioned hahaha.

Well, then I just remember that I went to watch the lectures radiant with joy and not able to think in anything else other than D! I was super happy!! It was the first time I felt like that regarding some boyfriend and I was thinking that with him the story would be different! And I was correct!! =) My friend Claudia also notice it and I clearly remember her saying: "Girl, you are SO in love." lol

And this was the way that our story began! I can only say that we've had very few fights (at least until he decided to go to the US for his PhD), we always talked about marriage and kids and how we would educate them and everything was wonderful! (At least until he decided to go to the US for his PhD (2)). But even during this time when we dated in distance for one year and a half, there were good and necessary things! =) And concluding, we are married since 18th of January, 2009, we are VERY happy, and we have an almost 9 months baby that is our little bundle of joy!!

"Tudo vale a pena, quando a alma nao eh pequena!" - Fernando Pessoa

"All worth it when the soul is not little!"

The end!