Lessons from the past

I'll get straight to the point! Nico is driving me crazy. Rebecca is driving me crazy. Sometimes Vicky is driving me crazy!

As I am very open and public on Facebook and Instagram you might have read somewhere that I gave up Facebook and Instagram for Lent. Well, that worked out kinda well until last week. Before then I was basically just reading my own sparse notifications and not checking my news feed much if at all. Same for Instagram. I wasn't glued to my phone first thing in the morning nor last thing in the evening. That was nice.

Although the nicest thing of giving up FB was that I almost forgot Trump was our president! (Please don't get me wrong, I would *never* vote for Hillary - NEVER - but Trump does make it hard for us to swallow him). And it is also great not to take part on the newest major drama that's going on in the internet.

But then my lent proposition really went out the window and I started checking on FB and IG again last week. I even stopped pretending I didn't see someone's extra cute, funny or insightful moments, and "click-liked (or loved)" them away. I even shared some stuff and commented here or there.

Let me stop for a minute and say that I know I'm wrong. One should keep ones promises, specially our promises to God. End of story.

But-No-But, basically, I should be less dependent of social media, regardless of Lent. And that's something I'm confident I can work on, with a few stumbles along the way - I'm sure - without making a pledge of not checking it at all, like I did this Lent. And you know what actually made me a better catholic and more lent-focused anyway? It was when I came back to attending daily Mass with Vicky and Nico two weeks ago and specially when I attended Stations of the Cross with Rebecca's school. It was beautiful, really!! Also when I went to confession. And one last thing that I know it helps me is to watch Mel Gibson's "Passion of Christ" just before The Holy Triduum as I do almost every year.

So next Lent, my proposition will be different! I will set up a few more prayer "appointments" specifically focusing on our Lord's loving sacrifice for us. Sure, I will also work on temperance of my use of social media but that's something I'll hopefully be working on year-round.

Well, that was long. I actually wanted to say that one of the few things I came across on FB during Lent was an article about screaming to our children. I'll be honest, I only read the headlines and about two lines which highlighted the main idea. I thought it was a pretty fantastic consideration: "How would us feel if our spouse talked to us the way we talk to our children?". Good point, huh?

Being extra honest now, this amazing consideration didn't actually cause any effect on my everyday yelling at my children. I would only remember it after I've already screamed. Not just that, but I actually realized how not practical this idea is. Well, becuuuuz, myself or my spouse, actually, doesn't just drop the empty food bowl on the floor when I ask for it after he demanded a third snack in the middle of the morning. Because my spouse doesn't just run off to his bed with his ketchup-dirty fingers. Because my spouse doesn't color all my just-cleaned walls while I talk to my mom on the phone.

If my spouse were to do any of these things, I would actually control my yelling, true, because we are adults and - actually - I would be dumbfounded and momentary lose my speaking ability. But it would also make it very hard for me to love my spouse. With my kids that just doesn't happen. I yell at them - and sometime I really have to do that because the kid raced off to another room in like, one second (he has to be the fastest kid in the world). But I don't stop loving them!

I stop here for a moment to say that I know I'm wrong. We should always strive to treat our kids with respect and less yelling. Specially because yelling is not even an effective disciplinary action. So keep trying on not screaming to your kids. Will do you and your kids a lot of good. But boy, will you have a ride *trying* to do so.

And anyway, what I will try next time is to imagine I have company over when my kid is driving me crazy. This would actually make me scream less because I sure don't want to look like an ugly yelling monster in front of other people.

In case you haven't figured out by now, this vent was about Nico.

Now let's talk about Rebecca.

Rebecca is sooooo messy. Really.

I love to have my house clean and organized but Rebecca will see that I don't have any of it on a second-basis when she's around.

Then I remember a few things I read about in the past. For example, the article that said it's better for friends and family not to buy our kids any more toys. Or that picture my friend of three kids (with a newborn too) shared of the single clean spot in the whole house.

So it's not just me. Sometimes my house will look like a robber just came through all of our things. Sometimes I will have the urge to throw away all the toys in the house.And sometimes I'll say to Rebecca I *will* *actually* *do* that specially now that I know it makes her clean all the downstairs room perfectly.

But what I probably should do is to lock most of their toys away and rotate the ones available to them every so often, like I read in another article some years ago. Now if I can find the time, the energy and the room to accomplish this task...

Now Vicky.

Poor baby is allergic to everything. I'm SURE about dairy, soy, peanuts and fish & shellfish. But she still has colics! And she cries. And she doesn't nap consistently.

Then I remember of a meme I stumbled upon a good while back that said something like: "you know when you are a mom when your are reheating your morning cup of coffee for the millionth time and it's still 10:30am".

My life, right now! Today I even ended up draining half my cup of coffee down the sink because I just refused to put it on the microwave again.

To finish this post I will also end with a paragraph of what I should really do, instead of ever complaining and losing my mind.

I should really remember that motherhood is a blessing. In my case a blessing that came with very few struggles so far. I didn't struggle with fertility, I didn't struggle with practicing NFP, I didn't struggle with the loss of a child. My children didn't struggle with any serious illness or disability.

And I actually chose to be a mother.

Sure, I will complain again. It's good to talk to somebody about our struggles. That's why I blog, well, because I'm kinda lonely, truth to be told. And after we let it out, be grateful again.

And that reminds me of another thing I heard before: God is happy with our battle, our efforts. Life will have its ups and downs, the important thing is not to give up and to try to do better next time.

Hang in there, moms!