After more than a year hiatus I've finally decided it was time to make our blog public again.
So much has changed in our lives and I probably will get more into that little by little in order not to overwhelm this post with so much new information.
Also, I believe I have written two blog posts which I'd kept private but you are more than welcome to read those now, if you wish. They follow this post as the last two previous entries.
Done with my usual introduction, here is the post itself!
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We had a busy morning today. We went to daily mass (it's going very well, I'm glad to say it and I'm happy I'm persevering in this challenging goal of mine). Then I hurried back home to pack some snacks for the kids - I failed to pack one for myself. We stopped at the bank (I needed to print some checks) and then we stopped at our car dealership service center for the scheduled check-up at 10:45am. It took longer than I anticipated and I had started to complain that I was hungry.
It was noon already. I was getting really agitated to get back home soon (lunch was practically ready and it had to be consumed by today so not to waste any food which I really, really hate to do) but I also needed to go to Costco for a quick trip and to fuel my car's gas tank. Costco is a
20 min drive from our home but only a 3 min drive from the dealership place. It would cost me more later if I decided to postpone it.
So to Costco we went! I first filled up the tank. And then off to park my car. Costcos around Atlanta, GA are crazy busy. And it's getting very hot outside. And I have three children to load/unload. Finding a good parking spot is tricky specially with all the aggravated before mentioned circumstances. But there it was: a car leaving right in front of me, in a good spot, I just couldn't see anything else. Or maybe, I didn't want to see anything else.
You might have guessed it! I hurried straight up and managed to park my car only to have someone honk at me in an obvious parking lot dispute. I was sure I was right. She got mad at me, I got mad at her. We followed each other's stare. She drove around in order to face me and told me she was actually waiting for that spot (behind, in a place I wasn't looking at before). I was still mad at her but I started to realize I was the wrong one. I told her she could come over I would give her the spot but I wasn't being kind about it. She declined, like anyone in her position would, actually. I was still very serious and I waited a little bit more and made signs for her to come over. She declined again. I gave up and kept the spot.
As I was loading my children inside the cart, I've finally calmed down a little bit. I told them I was the wrong one. That the other lady was actually waiting for the spot before me, but I didn't see her before.
I was embarrassed about everything. About being so focused in getting that parking spot that I didn't double-check to see if someone else was waiting for that spot. For thinking I was right when I wasn't. For getting mad in public. For giving such bad example to my children.
Then I saw the lady coming in. She was timidly avoiding me, probably she was a little afraid of a personal confrontation. But I walked to her just enough so she could hear me:
- I am sorry. I was wrong.
And to my surprise, she smiled and replied:
- It's ok. I see you have three children.
- No, really, I was wrong. I didn't see you.
- It's ok. But I appreciate you telling me so.
And that was it.
I so impressed how she managed to pull up a smile and to forgive me like that. I couldn't. I was so embarrassed. "Stealing" someone else's parking spots is a pet peeve of mine, actually.
I was so startled inside of me that I wanted to leave Costco ASAP and run away from that event. Which I managed to do so in less than 15 min. Driving back home, I was still thinking about everything. I was fortunate I got the chance to say I was wrong. To the lady and to my children. But there was still one more thing missing. I turned to my kids and added:
- Kids, please don't get mad at people like mommy did to that lady. I will try to do better from now.
And Rebecca says:
- I know why you got mad, mom! You were hungry!
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If it was only that....
Dan and I really believe that parenthood has made us better people! This is something you can easily hear from brand new parents and experienced parents alike! By that we always meant that having a baby or small children makes us more generous, giving, selfless people. A baby literally needs you for everything. And a small kid still needs you a lot, it's not like you have a choice! You get better at giving yourself up. Period.
But today, because of this embarrassing traffic-rage incident, I've realized that parenthood is also making me a better person because of the examples I give my children now they are older and getting so smart. They really understand more of how the world works, they observe everything, they keep a lot of the happenings in their hearts and brains, and they start to make judgement. I can't just act the way I've sometimes carelessly acted before. I have to change. I have to be a better person. Not only by being selfless like before, but by the example they inevitably learn from me.
Thank you, kids. For making me a better person. A more mature person.
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