My lack of self control and charity along with some other n excuses made me incredibly grumpy right off 9am. It took me two hours to pull my sheazz together and apologize. Usually I do not have a problem apologizing, but this time I felt the whole embarrassment of the situation on me. I will keep the details out but I was feeling pretty low about myself. I apologized anyways and things slowly got better. Sooner than I deserved, but God is my witness that I really, really want to change that about myself.
Dan cooked lunch. Not because I was still being bad. But because Dan can be really picky about cooking (although he's gotten much better at not being so picky all the time and I - on the other hand - got better at cooking, so it's a win-win situation) and he wanted to cook his steak and his potatoes the exact way he wanted it. So I let him do it and stepped out of the kitchen. Instead, I took care of laundry, so another win-win situation.
Our afternoon was pretty lazy after that with some nap time (Dan, Vicky and I take naps. No judging, the other two kids are taken care of. We can juggle it!). We talked to family through WhatsApp video call. Then we went to the pool for 2h and had dinner in a restaurant (sushi) afterwards. So it ended up being a really good day, but not an awesome Father's Day, I confess. Also, I really wanted to post something on IG to congratulate Dan but I blamed on the lack of a good picture for me not doing it.
I promise I will do a better job on his second Father's Day of the year. Meanwhile, memo to me: 1. socks are good gifts only if they are 100% made of cotton; 2. don't get confused on the weekends, third in June, second in August; 3. get over the fact he's got two Father's day and you only get one Mother's day. As my priest confessor once told me "you could spend half of the day kneeling down thanking the husband you have". And all feminism or politic-correctness aside, I know this is true.
So I'm here to say Happy Father's day to Dan, but what I really want to say is: Happy Great Person's day to Dan!
Dan is absolutely a great father! But he is a great father because he is a great person, and that's what really matters. What kind of a person makes a great person? Well, that differs, for sure! People are not perfect and we are all different in our qualities and struggles. But common values and virtues are a good start. Generosity to family, friends and strangers too - in service, time and money. Honesty and ethics. Understanding and empathy. Or like Rebecca wrote on her card to dad: "I love that you always loves me." A love that shows forgiveness. A love that is felt through his action and not just words. Actually, Dan is a guy who won't say much about love or anything like that on a daily basis. But does he love us? Does he love me?
How many times have I bugged him: Do you love me? Do you really love me?
Man, I know he does! He is not romantic or sentimental at all, but that really doesn't mean anything necessarily.
Is he perfect? No! Does he annoy me every now and then? Yes. But what about me?
I thank God for Dan. I thank God for everyday (nowadays) giving me a warming feeling in my heart that makes me literally sigh and think: "Oh, I love Dan".
***
And I finish this post with a few words to my dad. My first father's day without you here on the same Earth. Really, sometimes I can't believe it. 59 is no age to go. But here it is:
Eternally my daddy, my model of a good man! Because of you I was able to choose a good man for myself! And Dan also benefited so much through your living example. Your holy life is your greatest lasting gift to us! I just wished it wouldn't hurt so much to miss you. But I know it's all part of the dance. I can't be ungrateful. I know I received a lot by having you as my father and that is enough for a lifetime of happiness for being your daughter. Thank you, daddy, and keep watching over us! We still need you!
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