Reasons for the Season

Today's post is a follow up of my previous one.

I'm happy to inform that the kids are driving me less crazy than they were a few weeks ago. Some PMS might have been involved back then.

But in all seriousness, when your baby is suffering from colics (and mucusy stools with specks of blood) but you are already avoiding dairy and soy for 2 months, it kinda makes you want to cry in desperation. Well, fortunately, at least now I can say that the desperation is subsiding little by little as Vicky finally gets better. The mucus are not totally gone yet but I can really tell it's improving.

And believe me, it was no magic! A lot of hard work and many dollars later, trying to figure out what I could eat and I think I came down to a list of permanent "no-nos", a list of "yes, please I have to eat something" and a list of "maybes, set for try-outs in the slow coming future".

No-nos list:
- dairy
- soy, including soy lecithin. Which basically means I can't eat 90% of industrialized products.
- fish and shellfish
- eggs
- tomato sauce, so I'm also guessing tomatoes
- pork meat, sadly, good bye bacon.
- peas, cocoa, and all beans, including.... coffee. And also my vegan margarine because it has pea protein and Vicky seemed bothered by it when I reintroduced it a short while ago.
- peanuts
- preservatives. Which basically means I can't eat another remaining 8% of all industrialized products.

Very strong candidates to No-nos: wheat, oats, tree nuts and corn

Yes, please list
- rice
- potatoes, carrots, broccoli, onions, garlic
- green leaves
- thank goodness, beef! Also chicken, turkey & lamb.
- some fruits like bananas, pears.
- chamomile tea
- sugar and brown sugar, preferably
- tapioca flour. I'm still believing tapioca it's alright!

Consider everything else on the "maybe list". They say that after your baby seems to be doing fine with your restrict diet, start adding new things, one at a time, every 4 days and see how it goes with each new addition.

It's been hard. Everyday, more than once, I have a feeling I won't make it to December when Vicky turns 12 months. I have a wish to throw everything out of the window, every day.

My breakfast consists of banana, tea (which I never really liked before) and an eventual tapioca when it decides to cooperate with me (sometimes I can't make the flour work since you have to hydrate the starch a bit before cooking. It can get tricky).

My desserts are fruits or, for the most part, the kids multi-vitamin I found at costco that doesn't contain any allergen or preservatives: Smarty Pants.

Eating out? It's basically impossible. Vicky even seems to be bothered by the french fries at Burger King, so... no!

Besides enduring a very strict diet with very few indulgences, some people still insist on giving me a hard time about it. Like, why on earth would I be willing to put myself into so much struggle if I really didn't believe it's making my baby daughter not well? Allergies and food sensitivities are real. Period.

Also genetics are playing a huge part on this since from both sides of the family there are plenty of food sensitivities.

Now I know this posts has not being a happy one so far, but there are still reasons to rejoice!

Like when Vicky smiles! The whole world stops and stares for a while. Really, I love babies! Even if I have to carry them all day and my back hurts. Even when they decide to have sleep regressions at night and no consistent naps, I still love babies!! I smile hugely at Vicky several (read millions) times a day! I'm a much happier person because of babies.

Sometimes I feel I can't go on like this for too long more, but then I stop and realize that 4.5 months already went by. They flew by! Really!!! So I'm taking each day as it comes. Some days I will be feeling lazy and tired and still wearing my pajamas pants past midday (like today, ops!). And some days I will have a crazy energy to take the kids out to play or to deep clean my whole house. Or to even iron Dan's work clothes!

And speaking of him, Dan is being a great dad and husband too. Besides working hard all day, he never brings his work struggles to our home! He never complains and has plenty of energy for our kids almost every day. He has always a serene and content face. I hate to give the impression that we don't have marital issues to work on, or to even make you think for an instant that our lives are perfect, but gratitude in this moment is overdue! Thank you, love.

Next Friday we'll be driving to Chicago. We'll tour the city while staying in a rental house one hour away by the Lake Michigan. On Monday I'll be attending my first Opus Dei retreat (always silent) in the US (in a retreat house close to Chicago), my first one married and - obviously - my first with an infant! Meanwhile, Dan will watch Becca and Nico and they will be enjoying the "beach". We'll be coming back on Wednesday.

I'm excited but also a little anxious about everything. It's a 9h drive! The retreat workers already know about my special diet and they know I'm bringing my baby. I'll be missing a lot of good eats in Chicago like Eataly foods, deep dish pizza and italian beef sandwiches. That's ok. I'm planning on stopping by Whole Foods everyday to have some fruit, salad and some meat. But the weather is supposed to be gorgeous, so there is that!

We are also busy with the last weeks of school, with spring programs and field trips. And doctor's appointment. Rebecca will be doing a growth hormone tolerance test on May 3rd to see if there is a problem with her growth. If there is, we'll probably start her on daily hormone injections. Please pray that the best will be done for her!

And that's all for now!

Here are some pictures from the last four months!

Visiting Trinity Heights IA on Jan, 1st

first time Becca hold Vicky after she got better from her cold.

Our 8th wedding anniversary lunch. All I wanted was some fries and a milkshake but this 5 Guys location unfortunately didn't sell milkshakes and we didn't have enough time to go to the other store in town ...

playing bowling with my sis and her husband

Vicky's baptism and her godparents!

My crazy boy at the Fire Station school field trip! 

Guess which one is Nico. I remember I left the fire station exhausted.

Nico's bday lunch. Well, there are no Chick-fil-As in here and this is the only fast food playground in town.

Becca blessing Nico on his birthday!

picture with mom

Visiting Daddy at work!

taking the kids to play in a fun free museum in town

Nico's bday presents. But it's just pose for the pic, he can't ride it yet.

I love Rebecca's art teacher! It's amazing what she teaches the kids!

Rebecca's new over sized shoes that mommy bought it online along with another $50 worth of clothes that are also too big for her...

First father daughter dance!

She is a cutie

pic with mom

spring is bringing back the tree leaves and flowers

last minute easter egg hunt and their dollar tree bags!

took the kids out to the zoo solo!

Nico loves to take pics! 

spiky hair and dimples!

"get in the pic" moment

Lessons from the past

I'll get straight to the point! Nico is driving me crazy. Rebecca is driving me crazy. Sometimes Vicky is driving me crazy!

As I am very open and public on Facebook and Instagram you might have read somewhere that I gave up Facebook and Instagram for Lent. Well, that worked out kinda well until last week. Before then I was basically just reading my own sparse notifications and not checking my news feed much if at all. Same for Instagram. I wasn't glued to my phone first thing in the morning nor last thing in the evening. That was nice.

Although the nicest thing of giving up FB was that I almost forgot Trump was our president! (Please don't get me wrong, I would *never* vote for Hillary - NEVER - but Trump does make it hard for us to swallow him). And it is also great not to take part on the newest major drama that's going on in the internet.

But then my lent proposition really went out the window and I started checking on FB and IG again last week. I even stopped pretending I didn't see someone's extra cute, funny or insightful moments, and "click-liked (or loved)" them away. I even shared some stuff and commented here or there.

Let me stop for a minute and say that I know I'm wrong. One should keep ones promises, specially our promises to God. End of story.

But-No-But, basically, I should be less dependent of social media, regardless of Lent. And that's something I'm confident I can work on, with a few stumbles along the way - I'm sure - without making a pledge of not checking it at all, like I did this Lent. And you know what actually made me a better catholic and more lent-focused anyway? It was when I came back to attending daily Mass with Vicky and Nico two weeks ago and specially when I attended Stations of the Cross with Rebecca's school. It was beautiful, really!! Also when I went to confession. And one last thing that I know it helps me is to watch Mel Gibson's "Passion of Christ" just before The Holy Triduum as I do almost every year.

So next Lent, my proposition will be different! I will set up a few more prayer "appointments" specifically focusing on our Lord's loving sacrifice for us. Sure, I will also work on temperance of my use of social media but that's something I'll hopefully be working on year-round.

Well, that was long. I actually wanted to say that one of the few things I came across on FB during Lent was an article about screaming to our children. I'll be honest, I only read the headlines and about two lines which highlighted the main idea. I thought it was a pretty fantastic consideration: "How would us feel if our spouse talked to us the way we talk to our children?". Good point, huh?

Being extra honest now, this amazing consideration didn't actually cause any effect on my everyday yelling at my children. I would only remember it after I've already screamed. Not just that, but I actually realized how not practical this idea is. Well, becuuuuz, myself or my spouse, actually, doesn't just drop the empty food bowl on the floor when I ask for it after he demanded a third snack in the middle of the morning. Because my spouse doesn't just run off to his bed with his ketchup-dirty fingers. Because my spouse doesn't color all my just-cleaned walls while I talk to my mom on the phone.

If my spouse were to do any of these things, I would actually control my yelling, true, because we are adults and - actually - I would be dumbfounded and momentary lose my speaking ability. But it would also make it very hard for me to love my spouse. With my kids that just doesn't happen. I yell at them - and sometime I really have to do that because the kid raced off to another room in like, one second (he has to be the fastest kid in the world). But I don't stop loving them!

I stop here for a moment to say that I know I'm wrong. We should always strive to treat our kids with respect and less yelling. Specially because yelling is not even an effective disciplinary action. So keep trying on not screaming to your kids. Will do you and your kids a lot of good. But boy, will you have a ride *trying* to do so.

And anyway, what I will try next time is to imagine I have company over when my kid is driving me crazy. This would actually make me scream less because I sure don't want to look like an ugly yelling monster in front of other people.

In case you haven't figured out by now, this vent was about Nico.

Now let's talk about Rebecca.

Rebecca is sooooo messy. Really.

I love to have my house clean and organized but Rebecca will see that I don't have any of it on a second-basis when she's around.

Then I remember a few things I read about in the past. For example, the article that said it's better for friends and family not to buy our kids any more toys. Or that picture my friend of three kids (with a newborn too) shared of the single clean spot in the whole house.

So it's not just me. Sometimes my house will look like a robber just came through all of our things. Sometimes I will have the urge to throw away all the toys in the house.And sometimes I'll say to Rebecca I *will* *actually* *do* that specially now that I know it makes her clean all the downstairs room perfectly.

But what I probably should do is to lock most of their toys away and rotate the ones available to them every so often, like I read in another article some years ago. Now if I can find the time, the energy and the room to accomplish this task...

Now Vicky.

Poor baby is allergic to everything. I'm SURE about dairy, soy, peanuts and fish & shellfish. But she still has colics! And she cries. And she doesn't nap consistently.

Then I remember of a meme I stumbled upon a good while back that said something like: "you know when you are a mom when your are reheating your morning cup of coffee for the millionth time and it's still 10:30am".

My life, right now! Today I even ended up draining half my cup of coffee down the sink because I just refused to put it on the microwave again.

To finish this post I will also end with a paragraph of what I should really do, instead of ever complaining and losing my mind.

I should really remember that motherhood is a blessing. In my case a blessing that came with very few struggles so far. I didn't struggle with fertility, I didn't struggle with practicing NFP, I didn't struggle with the loss of a child. My children didn't struggle with any serious illness or disability.

And I actually chose to be a mother.

Sure, I will complain again. It's good to talk to somebody about our struggles. That's why I blog, well, because I'm kinda lonely, truth to be told. And after we let it out, be grateful again.

And that reminds me of another thing I heard before: God is happy with our battle, our efforts. Life will have its ups and downs, the important thing is not to give up and to try to do better next time.

Hang in there, moms!

What's up? I'm glad you asked!

Almost two months since my last post! I've wanted to write many times, but haven't quite found the time yet! So now it's 8pm, kids are (finally) in bed, Dan is at the gym, seems like the perfect time to catch up! But I'll try a new writing style in which I briefly depict the main facts into "mini posts". Let's see how it goes!

"No Time for blogging"
It seems to me that I have plenty of spare time in my day! Well, I cook, I clean, I take care of my kids needs, I drive, etc. Mathematically speaking, the amount of time I spend doing all my mother/housewife duties is less than the number of hours I'm awake in a day. But sweet baby Vicky cry a lot when she is not given 100% of exclusive attention and toddler Nico doesn't nap anymore. So there goes my "free" time: out of the window!

"8pm? Sounds like a good bedtime to me!"
I've been going to bed as soon as I finish nursing Vicky for the last time before she sleeps, granted I finished my evening hygiene routine already. That ranges from 8pm to 9pm. It's been good specially since I can't take a nap during the day because of reason stated above. That means I'm taking my sleep time to blog! That's how much I care!

"Flossing"
Please floss your children's teeth daily before bed specially if your children happen to have practically no space between teeth. Also, don't let your young child brush his/her teeth all by him/herself. These measurements can save you $300+ in dentist services and a lot more worth of embarrassment, just saying........ Also, don't wait 6.5 years to take your poor child to a dentist for the first time (what were we thinking???).

"No Tae-kwon-do for Nico"
That's a sad story! Nico is a crazy boy! Not real crazy (we actually had him evaluated to confirm this). But he's different. Too excited. Too stubborn. You might mistake him for a deaf person if you don't know him very well and, in fact, I've seen that happening before, more than once. When he wants something there is no telling him "no". Of course we tell him "no". Multiple times. But he'll keep screaming and crying for a looooooooooooooooong time after that. But anyway, we love him very much, and he is definitely a cutie. In order to work on his discipline problem we had a great idea: let's enroll him in tae-kwon-do! Let Master X do the hard work for us!
Well, Nico loved every minute of it. I mean, he really loved it! He couldn't even wait to take his shoes off before sprinting to the mat. He would jump around and twirl of excitement between each movement. He actually had a kid trainer just for him. Truth is I could go on describing his craziness but I think you got the picture: Master X told us he wasn't ready for classes yet. After only two classes. It was really, really sad! He loved it so much and every time we drove by the academy he would ask to go there. We will try again next year, probably.

"Nico goes to school"
Crazy Nico also started pre-K in January. Twice a week, mornings only. Luckily for us, I *think* the school can't tell us he is not ready for it yet. Except that sometimes I think they can and they will. The assistant teacher is a sweetheart, but she's already been telling me that she has to chase after him everyday at least once.
Now being serious, though. I just had the insight that I *really*, *really* need to pray more for my children. Throughout the day. Lots of times. Pray that they will adapt and conform. In a smooth way. Possibly - hopefully - faster. That they will be happy meanwhile. That's been my proposition. Rebecca also needs the prayers too. She is great most of the time, but she can also be "not great" every now and then.

"Nico has a febrile seizure"
You possibly read my facebook post about it. Basically it's horrifying but harmless. If you never known about it before, you basically think your child is dying. I came across an article/story on The Guardian that describes exactly my emotions on the episode. Find it here. I think I am mostly recovered by now. My sis and her husband were here for a few days and that distracted me from the whole thing, thank you all for the prayers.

"Vicky is Catholic"
My sis and her husband came all the way from Brazil to be the godparents in Vicky's Baptism, her welcoming into the Catholic Church! What a happy and special day! We also had a GREAT time with them here! Ask the kids!!! I miss them already and it makes me sad we don't live near family. Sniff, sniff.

"Sweet Vicky, Crying Vicky"
Vicky is sweet and I wasn't wrong when I said she was our best baby between all the three of them. Actually, she was surprisingly good now that we know she is dairy allergic like her big sis! It took a while for me to notice it even with all my previous experience because she was such a good baby and her poop was orange-ish most days, but I could tell there was some mucus in it. On her last check-up I decided to ask our pediatrician about it! I *love* our pediatrician, she is great! I asked her if mucus in stools could be a sign of something else other than dairy-allergy and I got my feared answer: no, it can't be. It's dairy allergy, indeed.
So there you have it. It's been 25 days I have not been eating dairy per si. But I wasn't very careful in certain occasions (turns out everything batter-fried, all breads and all vegetables have either milk or butter on them!). And now she wails of pain almost every day and she actually passed some tiny blood spots on her stool (the definite proof of dairy allergy). I also highly suspect that Vicky is allergic to soy too even before I learned that almost 50% of babies with dairy allergy are also sensitive to soy. (If you saw my facebook post about a soy paste that tastes just like peanut butter, I actually bought that to definitely see if Vicky would bother or not if I ate that. And boy, did she!
I've read lots of testimonies of mothers saying that after they stopped eating dairy and/or soy, the crying/colics actually got worse before they got any better. Well, we are definitely on the "worse" curve, right now. I really feel sorry for her. Poor baby. Damn genetics!!!

"Fitness"
I can't complain much about going dairy-free because it's a fail-proof way to slim down. And I needed the push. I don't know if you can tell but for the first whole month postpartum I still was 22lb heavier than before conceiving. It's been 3 months now, and I'm still 17lb overweight. As you can count, that's a work in progress as I'm nowhere near I want to be yet. I have also been trying to exercise. I plan to buy a fitness jump rope and go back to my old 8-min abs workout from youtube (find it here). I plan to stop what I'm doing everyday at 10am to do it. Seems like a good plan to me!

"Marital Problems"
You know? I just deleted three lines in which I was describing a discussion Dan and I had about kale and whatnot just to make my point valid: It was so stupid that I actually didn't want to finish writing the story (and it's getting really late too) and I really thought I would bore you all to death if you read it anyway. So here is the conclusion, anyway: sometimes marital problems are really silly things that happen to every couple every now and then. These episodes may look very serious and big when they just happened, but take a deep breath, let it go, say your sorry-ies, and forget about it. Yes, people have bad habits sometimes. Yeah, people will get mad at each other sometimes. Yes, you or him will say something not nice or considerate sometimes. Get over it, it's not the end of the world. You can work it out. I'm talking to you, because Dan and I already did! On the same day!

"Lent"
Have a good lent everyone. Please, a better one that I'm having. I still peek at facebook and instagram sometimes...... Shameful, I know......

xoxo

Victoria Maria - Part 3

"Victoria Maria - part 3" OR "Vicky is everything we didn't expected her to be!"

Luckily for us, the differences are for the better or regarding aspects that don't actually matter! It's just that, for us, it took us by surprise!

Dan and I were suuuure Vicky was going to be a copycat of Becca and Nico since her siblings are identical, except for gender, of course! Jokes aside, really, Becca and Nico are very similar to each other! And even though they are 2 years and 7 months apart, random people often ask us if they are twins! My mom saw a picture of Nico with a winter hat and mistook him for Becca. And when Nico was a baby I had continuous flashbacks of when Rebecca was that age!

Dan and I used to say at loud and very frequently, that we only had one baby recipe! I was certain that all the kids we would eventually have, would look the exact same and I often wonder how would it feel to be one of those families that's always a surprise what your next baby will look like! I like to search for patterns on everything but I guess I forgot to realize that statistically, two kids were too little of a number to reach any conclusion, and - biologically, that would be quite impossible too!

Vicky comes! And - sure - you still can tell we are all family, but she is notable different!

The nose! Different! She escaped daddy's snub nose!
Hair! She is the only one that inherited daddy's hair line!
Eyebrows, she is the only one that inherited mommy's!
Mouth! She has a smaller mouth! Ears are also new! Her face is not so round!
Size! She has longer feet, longer hands and longer legs than both Nico and Becca!

But, the greatest difference? She doesn't have a ginormous head, like her siblings! And it looked so different to me that I have been asking all the pediatricians I visit with, if it looks normal!

Of course it is normal! Actually, it is too normal! She is totally proportional - unlike Becca and Nico! At her latest checkup, at 35 days, she was at the 45 percentile for weight and height and at the 53 percentile for head circumference!

I won't deny it! I love my overly disproportional big headed kids! I was a little bummed Vicky didn't get a huge head and my tendency to over examine each situation already made me doubt if Vicky will be as smart as Becca and Nico but it is just me being ridiculous!

Actually, I do think Vicky is smart indeed, despite her small normal head size. And like my psychologist mom noted, she already shows many signs of a good neurological development, like already crying tears on the first days of life, smiling really early on, staring, paying attention, etc.

Besides, I am so over the stupidity to think that a person should be good at math or reading to be considered smart! For at least a decade now, I understand and truly believe that there are many different types of intelligence! And what matters most is their soul, anyway!

Moving to a different topic, Vicky is also different in behavior! She is definitely calmer than her siblings! Poor Becca had terrible colics and reflux due to dairy allergy which I only found out at 4.5 months so she cried a lot! With Nico, I was already enduring a dairy free diet 2 months before he was born. He didn't have any allergies, it turned out, fortunately, but he had terrible gas pain and was (and still is) a very light sleeper! And like most boys, hungry all the time! He would wake up to nurse every 2h, most nights!

With Vicky, she sleeps periods of 3-6h at night! Mostly it consists of a first period of 4h/5h and then 2 periods of 3h. Not bad at all! She also doesn't cry much during the day, except for her witching hour, which actually counts for 2 or 3h of fussiness before bed. Of course this can be challenging at times, but again, comparing her to Becca and Nico, it's not so bad! It's manageable!

Vicky seemed to be used to all the noise her siblings (and momma) make from day one! She actually seems to enjoy it! At times, she would be crying but then I lay her on the baby chair in the living room where all the action is, and then she is quiet again. Listening. She enjoys when Nico and Becca are talking to her too!

Vicky is a joy! We love her very much! I'm so happy we had her!