A preciosidade das crianças

Na Quinta-Feira Nico não teve que ir à escola devido ao recesso escolar de outuno. Ele estava muito animado desde o começo da semana sabendo que teria uma folguinha. Mas Quinta-Feira chegou e Nico logo ficou muito rabugento exigindo coisas que eu não iria ceder. Era briga no café da manhã, briga pra assistir TV logo cedo, depois briga pra escolher o desenho, briga pra ver seu eu o deixava usar meu celular, briga com as irmãs, etc. Cheguei a perder a compostura e berrar algumas vezes, como se isso ajudasse a resolver nossos problemas.

Depois do almoço coloquei a irmâzinha, Vicky - a muito contra-gosto - pra tirar uma soneca e deixei a mais velha, Rebecca, escolher o que ela queria assistir na TV já que ela tinha passado a manhã fazendo suas lições de Homeschooling. Nico não se interessou pelo o que a Rebecca estava assistindo e foi ao meu encontro na poltrona que fica no meu quarto. Eu percebi que ele estava entediado e falei para ele me trazer alguns livros que pegamos emprestado da biblioteca. Nico está aprendendo a ler e precisamos praticar a leitura todo dia.

Conforme fomos lendo juntos, eu percebi como sua cabeça se apoiava em meu braço desapercebidamente. Ele estava uma gracinha, se esforçando, cooperando. Mas depois de um tempo o Dani me ligou no celular e eu atendi. Enquanto isso, naturalmente, Nico perdeu a atenção, se levantou, e foi buscar uma colagem de fotos de meu querido pai falecido há quase um ano, que tenho impressa e deixo a mostra em uma mesa de meu quarto, bem à frente da poltrona em que estávamos. Enquanto eu ainda falava no celular, eu ouvi o Nico me dizer: “eu sei quem é Toninho”. Eu me apressei pra desligar o telefone e poder dar atenção ao Nico, que queria conversar sobre o vovô.

Antes, uma breve explicação. Alguns dias atrás ele tinha me perguntado enquanto andávamos de carro qual era o nome do vovô. Dúvida normal, já que eles sempre chamam vovô de vovô, vovó de vovó, batian de batian e jitian de jitian (vó e vô em japonês). Daí falei que era “Toninho” e eles começaram a praticar, pois o som do “nh” não existe na língua inglesa.

Mas agora voltando à história, Nico voltou a se sentar comigo na poltrona e começamos a olhar juntos as fotos do vovô Toninho.Tinham duas fotos do Nico e vovô juntos, Toninho muito sorridente. Depois de um tempo percebo que Nico começa a se emocionar. Perguntei se ele estava triste, respondeu que sim e começou a chorar. Tentei por vários minutos conversar com ele sobre coisas bonitas. Falei como o vovô era feliz, sorridente, uma pessoa muito boa que sempre ajudava todo mundo. Falei que estava no Céu, feliz, olhando agora mesmo para nós. Tentei passar algumas perspectivas positivas, tentei animá-lo, mas nada estava ajudando. E no meio disso tudo, a pergunta: “ele não vai mais voltar?”. Acontece que Nico com 6,5 anos está começando a entender o que tudo isso significa. E bateu saudades, e saudades daquilo ele não teria nunca mais de novo.

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Hoje é Sexta-Feira, segundo dia do recesso escolar de outono. Dani teve que ir trabalhar mais cedo e eu tive que cuidar do café da manhã e de toda a rotina matinal. Levei todos comigo na Missa, o que é sempre um desafio. Me stressei em vários momentos mas acabamos ficando fora de casa praticamente toda a parte da manhã, o que sempre ajuda a distrair os ânimos das crianças. Chegamos em casa perto da hora do almoço.

Servi sopa canja de galinha com uma fatia de pão. Eles adoram uma boa canjinha e um bom pão. Mas acontece que detesto jogar comida fora e sempre procuro acabar com todos os restinhos que temos guardados na geladeira ou freezer. Logo, a sopa de hoje era repeteco do almoço de ontem. E ontem eles tinha adorado e não pararam de elogiar a comida, mas hoje já não estavam tão entusiasmados com o almoço como no dia anterior. E começaram a brincar com a comida. Eu também não gosto que brinquem com comida, que haja desrespeito.

Meus filhos como cidadãos americanos de certa classe social não tem o mínimo contato com extrema pobreza ou necessidade! Outro dia mesmo eu estava comentando com o Dani como nós que nascemos no Brasil, tinhámos certa consciência desse outro mundo, seja vendo crianças pobres mendigando nas ruas, ou até mesmo passando por favelas à beira da estrada. Mas nossos filhos não sabem nem mesmo o que é passar um pouco de necessidade pois temos condições de dar tudo o que precisam e até tudo o que desejam – até agora ninguém pediu um Mac Book de presente de Natal.

As vezes penso até que pode não ser benéfico que tenham tudo o que tem ou até mesmo penso que tenha algo de errado em desejar fazer a vida deles a mais divertida possível. Tenho meus dilemas intelectuais quanto a essas questões, confesso. Sei que é importante e faz bem o tempo em família ser legal, divertido. Cria conexões saudáveis e essenciais. Talvez o que esteja faltando seja engajamento em questões sociais, coisa que já penso no assunto mas ainda não consegui me organizar e fazer acontecer.

Enfim, mas voltando a questão do respeito com a comida que se come, comecei a contar para as crianças uma história que acabei de ficar sabendo pelo instagram, de órfãos do leste europeu que passam extrema fome. Claro que guardei de não falar qualquer detalhe que pudesse traumatizar. Mas Nico mais uma vez me surpreendeu e perguntou: “quando eu for grande, posso ajudar eles?”. Ao que respondi: “Nico, que ótima idéia, têm várias formas que você poderia ajudar quando você for grande... “ – e dei alguns exemplos.

Alguns minutos depois ainda na mesa de jantar, eu nâo me aguentei e disse: “ Nico, fiquei tão feliz que você disse que queria ajudar quando crescesse!”

Ao que ele me responde:

“É que quero ser como o Toninho”.

❤️

First Father's Day of the year!

In this house we celebrate Father's Day twice a year because they are celebrated on different dates in the US and in Brazil (the third Sunday of June and the second Sunday of August, respectively)! I often times, in my pettiness, feel this is kinda unfair to me because - unlike Father's Day - Mother's day is actually celebrated on the same day in the US and in Brazil. I am also good at finding excuses to blame someone or something other than me for my messes up! Meaning, we didn't have a great Father's Day and it's all because of me.

My lack of self control and charity along with some other n excuses made me incredibly grumpy right off 9am. It took me two hours to pull my sheazz together and apologize. Usually I do not have a problem apologizing, but this time I felt the whole embarrassment of the situation on me. I will keep the details out but I was feeling pretty low about myself. I apologized anyways and things slowly got better. Sooner than I deserved, but God is my witness that I really, really want to change that about myself.

Dan cooked lunch. Not because I was still being bad. But because Dan can be really picky about cooking (although he's gotten much better at not being so picky all the time and I - on the other hand - got better at cooking, so it's a win-win situation) and he wanted to cook his steak and his potatoes the exact way he wanted it. So I let him do it and stepped out of the kitchen. Instead, I took care of laundry, so another win-win situation.

Our afternoon was pretty lazy after that with some nap time (Dan, Vicky and I take naps. No judging, the other two kids are taken care of. We can juggle it!). We talked to family through WhatsApp video call. Then we went to the pool for 2h and had dinner in a restaurant (sushi) afterwards. So it ended up being a really good day, but not an awesome Father's Day, I confess. Also, I really wanted to post something on IG to congratulate Dan but I blamed on the lack of a good picture for me not doing it.

I promise I will do a better job on his second Father's Day of the year. Meanwhile, memo to me: 1. socks are good gifts only if they are 100% made of cotton; 2. don't get confused on the weekends, third in June, second in August; 3. get over the fact he's got two Father's day and you only get one Mother's day. As my priest confessor once told me "you could spend half of the day kneeling down thanking the husband you have". And all feminism or politic-correctness aside, I know this is true.

So I'm here to say Happy Father's day to Dan, but what I really want to say is: Happy Great Person's day to Dan!

Dan is absolutely a great father! But he is a great father because he is a great person, and that's what really matters. What kind of a person makes a great person? Well, that differs, for sure! People are not perfect and we are all different in our qualities and struggles. But common values and virtues are a good start. Generosity to family, friends and strangers too - in service, time and money. Honesty and ethics. Understanding and empathy. Or like Rebecca wrote on her card to dad: "I love that you always loves me." A love that shows forgiveness. A love that is felt through his action and not just words. Actually, Dan is a guy who won't say much about love or anything like that on a daily basis. But does he love us? Does he love me?

How many times have I bugged him: Do you love me? Do you really love me?

Man, I know he does! He is not romantic or sentimental at all, but that really doesn't mean anything necessarily.

Is he perfect? No! Does he annoy me every now and then? Yes. But what about me?

I thank God for Dan. I thank God for everyday (nowadays) giving me a warming feeling in my heart that makes me literally sigh and think: "Oh, I love Dan".

***

And I finish this post with a few words to my dad. My first father's day without you here on the same Earth. Really, sometimes I can't believe it. 59 is no age to go. But here it is:

Eternally my daddy, my model of a good man! Because of you I was able to choose a good man for myself! And Dan also benefited so much through your living example. Your holy life is your greatest lasting gift to us! I just wished it wouldn't hurt so much to miss you. But I know it's all part of the dance. I can't be ungrateful. I know I received a lot by having you as my father and that is enough for a lifetime of happiness for being your daughter. Thank you, daddy, and keep watching over us! We still need you!

And we are back again!

After more than a year hiatus I've finally decided it was time to make our blog public again.
So much has changed in our lives and I probably will get more into that little by little in order not to overwhelm this post with so much new information.

Also, I believe I have written two blog posts which I'd kept private but you are more than welcome to read those now, if you wish. They follow this post as the last two previous entries.

Done with my usual introduction, here is the post itself!
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We had a busy morning today. We went to daily mass (it's going very well, I'm glad to say it and I'm happy I'm persevering in this challenging goal of mine). Then I hurried back home to pack some snacks for the kids - I failed to pack one for myself. We stopped at the bank (I needed to print some checks) and then we stopped at our car dealership service center for the scheduled check-up at 10:45am. It took longer than I anticipated and I had started to complain that I was hungry.

It was noon already. I was getting really agitated to get back home soon (lunch was practically ready and it had to be consumed by today so not to waste any food which I really, really hate to do) but I also needed to go to Costco for a quick trip and to fuel my car's gas tank. Costco is a 
20 min drive from our home but only a 3 min drive from the dealership place. It would cost me more later if I decided to postpone it.

So to Costco we went! I first filled up the tank. And then off to park my car. Costcos around Atlanta, GA are crazy busy. And it's getting very hot outside. And I have three children to load/unload. Finding a good parking spot is tricky specially with all the aggravated before mentioned circumstances. But there it was: a car leaving right in front of me, in a good spot, I just couldn't see anything else. Or maybe, I didn't want to see anything else.

You might have guessed it! I hurried straight up and managed to park my car only to have someone honk at me in an obvious parking lot dispute. I was sure I was right. She got mad at me, I got mad at her. We followed each other's stare. She drove around in order to face me and told me she was actually waiting for that spot (behind, in a place I wasn't looking at before). I was still mad at her but I started to realize I was the wrong one. I told her she could come over I would give her the spot but I wasn't being kind about it. She declined, like anyone in her position would, actually. I was still very serious and I waited a little bit more and made signs for her to come over. She declined again. I gave up and kept the spot.

As I was loading my children inside the cart, I've finally calmed down a little bit. I told them I was the wrong one. That the other lady was actually waiting for the spot before me, but I didn't see her before.

I was embarrassed about everything. About being so focused in getting that parking spot that I didn't double-check to see if someone else was waiting for that spot. For thinking I was right when I wasn't. For getting mad in public. For giving such bad example to my children.

Then I saw the lady coming in. She was timidly avoiding me, probably she was a little afraid of a personal confrontation. But I walked to her just enough so she could hear me:

- I am sorry. I was wrong.

And to my surprise, she smiled and replied:

- It's ok. I see you have three children.
- No, really, I was wrong. I didn't see you.
- It's ok. But I appreciate you telling me so.

And that was it.

I so impressed how she managed to pull up a smile and to forgive me like that. I couldn't. I was so embarrassed. "Stealing" someone else's parking spots is a pet peeve of mine, actually.

I was so startled inside of me that I wanted to leave Costco ASAP and run away from that event. Which I managed to do so in less than 15 min. Driving back home, I was still thinking about everything. I was fortunate I got the chance to say I was wrong. To the lady and to my children. But there was still one more thing missing. I turned to my kids and added:

- Kids, please don't get mad at people like mommy did to that lady. I will try to do better from now.

And Rebecca says:

- I know why you got mad, mom! You were hungry!

***

If it was only that....

Dan and I really believe that parenthood has made us better people! This is something you can easily hear from brand new parents and experienced parents alike! By that we always meant that having a baby or small children makes us more generous, giving, selfless people. A baby literally needs you for everything. And a small kid still needs you a lot, it's not like you have a choice! You get better at giving yourself up. Period.

But today, because of this embarrassing traffic-rage incident, I've realized that parenthood is also making me a better person because of the examples I give my children now they are older and getting so smart. They really understand more of how the world works, they observe everything, they keep a lot of the happenings in their hearts and brains, and they start to make judgement. I can't just act the way I've sometimes carelessly acted before. I have to change. I have to be a better person. Not only by being selfless like before, but by the example they inevitably learn from me.

Thank you, kids. For making me a better person. A more mature person.

End of school year and Start of Summer

Kids, we are getting so busy down here in Atlanta GA!

The end of school year was crazy busy, making sure Nico wouldn't miss a day since they were practicing for the end of year festivities! It is May, and this also means teachers' appreciation week and May Crowning! Since Nico's school was so great at welcoming him in March and at loving and caring for him, I made sure to make his teachers and the whole school know how appreciative I was of each of them! May Crowning was a very sweet day and that also included Donuts with Mom, which Rebecca and Vicky tagged along, naturally! Each of you brought a flower to Mary! A white daisy!

Meanwhile, we made sure to take Rebecca to her school field day 1h20min away from home! Daddy managed to take the day off so he could go and help! It was a fun day for the whole family which made it very worth it! We then had lunch at a authentic greek/lebanese place close by where mommy had an appointment regarding our green card application, which is going smoothly, thanks to God. I also did some grocery shopping there where I got yummy Kinder chocolate, olive oil and tahini, which is yielding tons of yummy homemade hummus! I also want to make Haleu, which is a honey+tahini sweet I love from my childhood (my dad - your grandpa - love it so we learned from him to love Haleu as well!). Fortunately, the recipe is very easy and only requires a blender and a fridge!

In May we were still hitting the gym. Sometimes I would tae just Vicky and Becca after I'd drop Nico at school or sometimes, I would take them all on Friday mid day (since Nico didn't have school on Fridays), or daddy would take Becca and Nico, only, at the end of the day. That meant we continued to bring in bugs and to get a cold every other week, or so it seemed!

Mommy got very sick from a cold one week in May, right in the middle of one of daddy's business trip. When daddy got home at midnight, he convinced me to have an over the counter cold medicine
so I could sleep. I then took a tablet in the next morning and night, each. Two days later, it was opening day at the "White Water" water park. It was very fun, but hot.

Later that night, after a hot shower I started to notice my skin getting some kind of itchy rash. I didn't pay much attention to it and I went to sleep as I would normally do. Thanks to Rebecca waking up at 1am due to a nightmare, I woke up to put her back to sleep. But then I felt the rashes around my waste. It was dark, so I went to look in the bathroom and found myself completely covered in that bumby rash. I freaked out. That had never happened to me before and neither Dan and I knew what it was.

It was mother's day, 1am and I drove myself to the closest ER. After the usually long and dreadful wait, I was since by a kind and very diligent nurse. She knew right away I was having hives (I didn't even know what this word meant). After hearing my whole story she suspected it was an allergy reaction to the cold medicine I took a couple of days before and that the sun exposure and hot shower made it worse. I was also not drinking enough water and was feeling very stressed about a couple of issues! They gave me a steroids shot on the bum, and I got better in the morning. Luckily, I followed up with a doctor's appointment (also because I had other worries about different health issues) who took all of my concerns seriously, ordered bunch of labs and even a chest x ray, and nothing indicates a serious condition. My stress level got much better after that!

But back to Mother's day! It was a wonderful day which I felt very well taken care of by husband and kids! I got a very special breakfast with my favorite cinnamon rolls (actually, they are Aldi brand!) and I got cards, a beautiful, glamorous coffee mug (white on the outside and pink on the inside) which says "Hello Beautiful" in golden letters. I also got the first four CDs from Avril Lavigne and the latest from Taylor Swift. Since I drive some much I love to hear CDs from my favorite artists. Although I just now realize that Avril swears a bit on her songs, which I'm not comfortable about letting the kids hear it too. It's a bummer.

Still about my Mother's day, I received a beautiful rose at church and then I invited my friend Andreina and her three kids to spend the day with us since her husband had to work, unfortunately. We had steaks on the grill. The kids had a total blast together!

We entered Nico's last week of school and the prek graduation ceremony which was so cute and fortunately, quite uneventful! I am proud of Nico! I know he tries so hard to follow the rules and behave like is expected of him! He loves to make people proud! He also makes me happy! I love him so much! The pictures are great too!

Back in April Nico and daddy went to their first boys and fathers club, which happened to be the last one of the school year. I'm confident this will be a wonderful thing for them as the club resumes its monthly activities in August. The club also organized a family May pilgrimage to Mary at a local Monastery with some Opus Dei families! It was a great thing to do! We prayed a rosary - all the families together while strolling around the monastery grounds, payed a visit to Jesus in the Tabernacle, and then we had snacks in the courtyard. The kids had a blast playing together and the adults had some good conversations! It was very hot, but so worth it! Thank you God, for putting Opus Dei in my life!

And then Summer!!!

Usually I'm always a bit afraid of summer. But now that means I don't have to spend 3h in the car just so Nico can go to school four days a week and I don't have to homeschool Rebecca! Because of this, Vicky can also have a regular nap schedule which is tremendously good for the whole family. Summer also means I can go back to attend daily Mass - which far from having perfect behaving kids at church - it is still what helps me the most, granting me the graces I need which God so lovingly bestows on me, specially - I think - because He considers the sacrifice I make of bringing the kids with me even if I can't manage to pay much attention to Mass. God is good and understanding! And He loves kids at His House!

We continued to go to White Water and also to the water park inside six flags! During memorial weekend, we went Saturday and Sunday. On saturday - after the park - we had dinner at our FAVORITE pizza place, Blaze Pizza. You can choose any and how many toppings you want to your pizza and their passion fruit and coconut water juices are AMAAAAAZING! On Sunday, we went to Mass - like we always do and never missed a Sunday - went to the park and for dinner, we went to Chillis for a fajita/frozen margarita meal! What a fun weekend we had!

At the very end of May we traveled to Mableton for a playdate with friends! I met the newest addition and she served us a good lunch! I love this friend, her hospitality when I just moved to Georgia and our shared catholic spirituality! It's a very sweet family! We are going to meet them for another play date in July!

June has been busy with doctor appointments and visits to the closest splash pad! So fun and so easy to watch the kids! My kids are gorgeous, I cannot control myself sometimes!

As for upcoming events, we are so excited about daddy and Nico going to their very first camping trip.The Opus Dei boys club are organizing it and it has been tons of fun preparing for it already! We bought a tent, air mattress, flashlights, etc and we talk about it all the time! Let's see how it actually goes! =) Hopefully, the weather seems it will cooperate. Boy, it rained a lot this May in Georgia!

Still about summer plans, in June, Nico will start to have biweekly speech therapy and Rebecca will start Math Kumon. I think it will be great! And Vicky, how smart she is! I'm so impressed every single day!!! She kills me with her cute smile and facial expressions! I love this baby - not baby anymore - so much! Nico and Becca still love to read books so we've been going to the Library every two weeks and getting tons of books! They make me so proud! I think they are all VERY smart! God gave me too much responsibility granting me such bright and joyful kids! I always try to be a better mom (person) for them and for Dan! I know I have a wonderful husband and daddy to my kids!

We have a few more play dates laid up and Rebecca will attend her first Vacation Bible School on the last week of June! In June we will also have appointments to get the kids american and brazilian passports since we'll be visiting Brazil at the end of the year for 4 weeks mostly because my brother Marcos is marrying a wonderful girl, Mariani! We already bought our flights! We are SO excited!

The kids schooling for next fall is also set and we are excited for it!